Sex in the head

Sexual Addiction Behavior According to Patrick Carnes, there are 11 sexual addiction behavior types. This information is important when when working with sexually addictive or codependents or co-addicts of sex addicts. As you will see, sex addiction comes in many forms and types. Anything from the lone web surfer who spends 5 hours a night looking at pornography, to the patron of a prostitute, to the exhibitionist (man in the raincoat), the voyeur, and others. Sexual Addiction Behavioral Types 1. Fantasy Sex - Sexually charged fantasies, relationships, and situations o "Sex in the head" - arousal depends on sexual possibility o The fantasy is preferred over sex o Fantasies can be all-consuming o Rarely is sex the goal (unless it's necessary to control an outcome) 2. Seductive Role Sex- Seduction of partners o Being sexual without being truthful about intentions o Arousal is based on conquest o Arousal diminishes after initial contact o Seduction equals power and control o Can results in multiple relationships, affairs and/or serial relationships 3. Anonymous Sex -- High-risk sex with unknown persons o Arousal involves no seduction or costs and is immediate o Cruising, one-night stands, public baths, peep shows, Craigslist ads, etc. o No emotional connection 4. Paying for Sex - Purchasing of sexual services o Arousal is connected to payment of sex o With time, the arousal is connected to money itself o Prostitution, phone sex, sexual massages 5. Trading for Sex - Selling or bartering sex for power o Arousal is based on gaining control of others by using sex as leverage o Receiving money or drugs for sex * Making explicit movies/videos, stripping, pimping, and/or drugs for sex 6. Voyeuristic Sex - Visual Arousal o The use of visual stimulation to escape into an obsessive trance o Secretive looking or "peeping" to obtain sexual gratification o Use of pornographic photos, magazines, computer and/or videos to obtain a fix 7. Exhibitionistic Sex - Attracting attention to the body or sexual parts of the body o Sexual arousal stems from the viewer's reaction, whether it is shock or interest o Exposing oneself to obtain sexual gratification and/or power o Exposing oneself in public places, at home, in a car o Wearing clothes designed to expose and titillate 8. Intrusive Sex - Boundary violations without discovery o "Stealing sex" without the possibility of getting caught o Sexually touching people in crowds o Surprising unsuspecting individuals with sexual comments, jokes, and/or observations 9. Pain Exchange - Being humiliated or hurt as a part of the sexual arousal o Aroused by sadistic activities, hurting or degrading another sexually o Or both * Bondage sex or "S & M" (Sadomasochism) 10. Object Sex - Masturbating with objects o Cross-dressing o Uncontrolled use of masturbatory objects: blow-up dolls, latex vaginas, dildos o Fetishisms 11. Exploitive Sex -- Exploitation of the vulnerable o Arousal patterns are based on target "types" of vulnerability o Force, intimidation, or manipulation may be used o 30% of male and 14% of female sex addicts have had sex with minors o Pedophiles are not necessarily sex addicts o Sex addicts can be pedophiles