An alcohol intervention has the best chance of going well when it is deliberately scripted and contains no surprises. That’s why many intervention specialists recommend that all participants in an alcohol intervention write intervention letters that express support for the alcoholic while detailing the reasons why change is needed.

There are a few reasons why intervention letters are effective. First, they help you organize your thoughts so that you know what you do and don’t want to say to the alcoholic. Second, they give you something to read from during the intervention, which helps prevent your speech from becoming overemotional. And third, intervention letters give you the ability to say things that you normally don’t say out loud to the person.

How you write your letter depends on your relationship with the addict and the exact nature of the situation, but when you are at a loss for what to say, you can always follow this rough formula:

1. Start by telling the alcoholic how much you love him or her. If you don’t usually express this sentiment to this person, now is your chance to say it.
2. Express the significance of this relationship in your life, and maybe tell a story that illustrates how good things were before the alcoholism took over.
3. Express that you have noticed the extent to which alcoholism has taken over the addict’s life. Try to avoid taking an accusatory tone in this section. Remember that alcoholism is a disease and that the addict is suffering from it more than anyone else. Even if you have anger or bitterness toward the person, set those feelings aside.
4. Toward the end of the letter, make note of the ways in which your loved one’s addiction has negatively affected you. If it has hurt you in some way, or if it has had negative repercussions on your own life, outline these effects as clearly possible and in a way that is not too harsh.
5. Finally, express that they have your full support, that you will be there for support during the recovery process, and tell them that you’re here to help.

Every alcohol intervention presents an uncomfortable situation both for the alcoholic and for the family and friends involved with the event. Any number of things may go wrong: the alcoholic may get defensive or deny that there’s a problem, the conversation might get heated, people might begin to talk over one another, or things might get too emotional. If any of these problems arise, the most important thing is not to panic. Try to keep things calm and under control, and try these simple tips.

• Stay calm: If everybody at the alcohol intervention loses control of their emotions, things will go downhill quickly. You can help prevent this by being the calm at the center of the storm. Don’t be provoked into raising your voice; instead, set a positive example for the others in the room.

• Don’t blame: Of course, part of an intervention for an alcoholic involves letting he or she know what they have done to hurt people as a result of drinking, but this can be done without assigning blame or implying that the person has a moral failing. Approach the intervention with the knowledge that alcoholism is a disease, and try to blame the disease, not the person.

• Take a timeout: If things get out of hand, don’t be afraid to stop the proceedings for a few minutes. It might be a little difficult to stop once the alcohol intervention gets momentum, but sometimes giving everyone a minute to calm down is all you need to get back on track.

• Express your love and support: Even if the alcoholic gets very defensive, and even if he or she has hurt you in the past, make sure you emphasize that you are doing this out of love. The alcoholic may walk out of the situation feeling angry and embittered, but at least you will have planted a seed in his or her mind that help is out there. Don’t be surprised if there is a positive turnaround within a week or two.

Do you suspect that you may have a problem with alcohol? If so, you don’t have to wait any longer to make the change, and you certainly don’t have to wait for your family to give you an alcohol intervention. You may feel understandably reluctant to openly admit that you have a problem—after all, quitting is hard—but you’re not you’re not going to change your patterns until you’re willing to confront this head-on. The fact that you’re reading this is a sign that you’re making progress; now it’s time to back these thoughts with real action.

Think of it this way: if a close family member were having long-term difficulties with drinking, you’d probably want to give them an alcohol intervention, right? No one knows you better than you know yourself, so who better than yourself to confront you with the hard truths about your problem?

One of the things that makes alcohol interventions so valuable is that they show alcohol abusers that their habits do affect others, often in very negative ways. As the first step of your self-intervention, be honest about the harm your habit has done to yourself and others. In what ways have you and your loved ones been hurt? How has your life been set back? What important things have you sacrificed to support your alcohol habit? If it helps, write out a list of all your answers. Be as honest as possible.

Next, educate yourself about your options. If you don’t have any personal experience with rehab or alcohol treatment, then you may have some misconceptions about how it works. Read all the information you can about the philosophies underlying rehab and alcohol recovery, and then find out about treatment facilities in your area. After that, all you have left to do is start the ball rolling on your treatment.

The idea of giving yourself an alcohol intervention may seem a little crazy, but if you’re the only person who knows how serious your problem is, then you can’t rely on others to set you straight. Make the change yourself by admitting that you have a problem, taking stock of the damage it has done, and taking steps to seek treatment.

For the family and friends of an alcoholic, an alcohol intervention is often the last option. Many interventions come after years of failed efforts to make the addict change, and they’re often put together when things seem hopeless. At this point loved ones may already have raw feelings or understandable bitterness resulting from the addict’s persistent failure to change, and they often have to put themselves through the emotional wringer just to make the intervention happen.

So when an alcohol intervention fails, it can be painful and deeply frustrating, and family and friends may find it hard to figure out what to do next. When the addict snubs their efforts, some may simply give up.

Follow-up

As difficult and emotional as an alcohol intervention can be for loved ones, it’s even worse for the addict. Especially when the intervention doesn’t go well, the addict may come out of the experience feeling isolated, embattled, and hardened in his or her habits. But when these initial feelings fade after a few days or weeks, the addict may actually begin to think about what transpired at the intervention, and suddenly the idea of going to rehab may not seem so bad.

That’s why, even when an intervention for an alcoholic goes poorly, it’s important for family and friends to follow up. Let the alcoholic know that you will be there for her when she’s ready to begin her recovery. Remember that your loved one has a disease, and try not to let your personal hurt feelings get in the way of your promise to be supportive.

Second intervention?

Some alcoholics need to be confronted with three or four interventions before they finally come around. Putting together a second intervention may not seem like the most appealing idea in the world, but the good thing about it is that you can learn from the mistakes you may have made before. Bring in a new intervention organizer, change the setting, and rethink the things you’re going to say to your addicted loved one. Sometimes you have to fail at least once before you get it right.

You have already selected the people who love and care about your husband to participate with you in this intervention. It is important to have people who your husband respects as part of the team in order to penetrate the denial and barriers that he is likely to put up. If his alcohol use has indeed impacted his ability to work, you might consider asking someone he respects at work to be part of the alcoholism intervention team.

After research and careful planning, you are preparing for the event with the assistance of an interventionist who has told you that the most successful interventions are the ones that are well planned, tightly controlled, and rehearsed. The interventionist has also stressed the importance of the intervention letter that each participant is to write. These letters become the script for alcohol interventions.

Each participant should prepare their own intervention letter. The process of writing these letters can be very difficult, but at the same time they give each person a voice at the intervention. It is important that the letters not be judgmental, derogatory, or place blame. At the same time, they should be personal and as specific as possible. For example, you should not generalize and say “You are always passed out on the sofa when I come to visit”, but rather be specific and say something like “When I came to visit you last Tuesday, you had passed out and I couldn’t wake you.”

Each author reads his or her letter aloud during an alcoholism intervention. The close of each letter should emphasize how much you love and care about this person and how concerned you are about his health and wellbeing. You then request that the alcoholic agree to accept the help that is being offered to him that day in the form of treatment for his drinking problem. The objective is to get them to enter treatment immediately. If the intervention letters are compelling enough, your script will have a happy ending when your husband enters a treatment facility.

Participating in an alcohol intervention may be the most effective means a concerned individual has of reaching out to a friend, family member, or other loved one who is suffering under the burden imposed by substance use, abuse, dependency, or addiction. It can be just as important for the person reaching out as for the person who is being reached for, as concerned individuals may often feel that they are powerless in the face of a substance abuse issue. Ideally, it will be important for the substance abuser as well, as the ultimate goal is to inspire a change in the substance abuser.

People whose lives are affected by someone else’s substance addiction need to release their own tensions that have likely arisen as a result of that person’s substance abuse. They may feel compelled to take some kind of action, and an alcohol intervention is the ideal vehicle for releasing the substance abuse related tensions they are feeling. This kind of action has the benefit of providing relief to the individuals surrounding the substance abuser, and also has the benefit of proving awareness and information to the substance abuser.

When a concerned individual or group of concerned individuals makes the decision to go ahead with an alcohol intervention, they should make every effort to keep the meeting with the substance abuser focused on their concerns rather than focused on their own problems and tensions that have arisen as a result of the substance abuser’s behavior. In other words, it is important that the meeting be about the substance abuser, not about the people staging the meeting.

Once these concerned people have gone ahead with an alcohol intervention, they may want to wait and see if the alcohol intervention has had the intended effect, or if further action may be warranted. Further action that the concerned individuals may consider could include informing the substance abuser of different treatment options, or arranging for the substance abuser to take time off to consider the best way to go forward. It is worth it to consider all possible avenues, as addiction has the power to destroy lives.

Individuals who are suffering from substance use, abuse, or dependency may be in denial as to the gravity of their problems. The people who surround them, however, may have more perspective on how substance abuse is affecting the person suffering from substance use, abuse, or dependency. Those who have this level of dedication may want to consider having a meeting with the person suffering from substance abuse; the kind of substance will determine the kind of meeting that is needed. One such meeting is often called an alcohol intervention.

An alcohol intervention is a specialized meeting or even simply a conversation focused on an individual’s substance use, abuse, or addiction to alcohol. It is often very helpful for the people concerned about the individual who is suffering from substance abuse. The individual suffering from the abuse may feel that they have everything under control, and are continuing to live their lives in appropriate ways. But the people who surround him or her may see the disturbing effects substance abuse can have on an individual, and may feel like they are powerless. Staging a meeting or conversation with the individual suffering from substance abuse is one way for these people to feel they are doing something positive and productive.

An alcohol intervention may also be very helpful to the individual suffering from substance use, abuse, or addiction. This kind of meeting or conversation may serve as the wake up call they need in order to see the true nature of their problem, and the negative effects it is having not only on them, but also on the people who surround them. Just the fact that these people have gone to the effort of planning a meeting or conversation with them may be enough to cause the individual to understand more fully the scope of their actions.

Once the decision has been made to carry out an alcohol intervention, it is important for all those involved to be clear about what the alcohol intervention hopes to achieve. If it is properly done, this kind of action has the potential to change an individual’s life forever, and to change it in a very positive way. Meeting can proceed in a variety of ways. One factor to consider is how many people are going to be involved in the meeting.